CoolOldGuys.orgCOOLOLDGUYS.ORG

Contributed by: A COG in Washington

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed
as a carrier of HIV virus.  My parents live in Fort Worth.  One of my
sisters lives in Flugerville and is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
marijuana.  They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are
prostitutes in Dallas

I have two brothers: one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence
at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994.  My other brother is
currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three
children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in
Longview.  She is a part time “working girl”.

All things considered, my problem is this… Continue Reading

Contributed by a Republican COG:

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed
as a carrier of HIV virus.  My parents live in Fort Worth.  One of my
sisters lives in Flugerville and is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling
marijuana.  They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are
prostitutes in Dallas

I have two brothers: one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence
at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994.  My other brother is
currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three
children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in
Longview.  She is a part time “working girl”.

All things considered, my problem is this… I love my fiancé and look
forward to bringing her into the family.  I certainly want to be totally
open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who is an Obama supporter?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation